


Missing scene(s)

by Buttispams



Category: Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Early Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, otp: wait that's my word
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:41:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28544991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buttispams/pseuds/Buttispams
Summary: A more in depth version of what Chasten writes in his book.
Relationships: Chasten Buttigieg/Pete Buttigieg
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	Missing scene(s)

**Author's Note:**

> This focuses on the debt the Chasten faces when dating Pete. I may or may not add more, but here's this, at least.

Living together was everything Chasten wanted it to be. He got to see Peter, the man he loved so dearly, everyday. Getting to both fall asleep and wake up in his arms, warm and sated. Sure, he still had to take the train into Chicago almost everyday, and sub at the local schools on the days he didn’t, but it was a small price he had to pay for being able to live with Peter. However, there was still one thing.

Everyday he had to make sure he got home before Peter,  _ he  _ had to be the one who got the mail. After years of college, and living with no life insurance, Chasten had built up quite the list of collectors that wanted money from him, and that was something he was not ready to tell Peter about.

Of course he would tell Peter eventually, and if he ever found out, Chasten would tell him the truth, but it didn’t seem like something that needed to be discussed—at least, not this soon.

Chasten loved Peter, he felt he could tell Peter everything. Hell, he  _ had _ told Peter everything, but this, he felt, would be the last straw. Peter had politely listened to Chasten about his countless failures in love, his wide range of jobs, and even his experience with sexual assault. Of course Chasten didn’t expect Peter to break up with him after all of that right away—no decent person does that—however he did expect Peter to slowly pull away, until there was nothing left between them but awkward silence and distance. Instead, and to Chasten’s surprise, Peter asked Chasten to move in with him.

_ After all that,  _ Chasten had thought,  _ and he still wants to be with me, wants to live with me, even. _ And that’s how Chasten knew he could say yes, even if they had only been together for a few months.

But Chasten was scared. It was only a few months in and Peter was already putting up with a lot. Despite the way Peter would smile at him and tell him that none of it matters, inside, Chasten believed that some of it did, because it had to bother him at least a little bit. So, Chasten refused to tell Peter about the debt; he couldn’t lose him, not yet. This was his way of fighting for just a little more time of happiness before the universe did what it always did to him, and took it away.

He always made sure to get home to check the mail first, and if for some reason he was running late, which had only happened once so far, he would text Peter with an excuse like, “hey I got home, but realized I forgot something at the store, be back in a few, also I grabbed the mail already. ;)” and then he’d have to remember to go to the store as well to keep up the fib.

But that was all it was: a fib, never a lie. He wouldn’t lie to Peter, he couldn’t, which is why he knew that one day, he would tell him. Or in this case, everything would catch up to him and explode when he least expected it.

It was the beginning of March, Chasten had kept this charade going for almost two months, and he had to admit he even surprised himself with how well he was doing. That was how he should’ve known it wasn’t going to last.

Midterms were coming up in his classes, so he had scheduled to meet with one of his professors to go over a couple last minute things regarding his exams. He had gotten so wrapped up that he hadn’t realized how late it was, and that he was going to be home much later than Peter. Finally heading to the train, and wanting nothing more than to go home and eat a proper meal, remembering to intercept the mail hadn’t even crossed his mind.

Not a single thought of it came to him until his Uber from the train station was pulling up to the house and he looked to the door, seeing the black metal box hanging next to it. He got out of the car, walking swiftly up to it to reach his hand in. His stomach sunk when it was empty.  _ Maybe there weren't any bills today, or maybe there was no mail at all. _

He entered the house, about to release a sigh, when it got caught in his throat at the sight of Peter. He was sitting on the couch, a letter in his hand that he seemed to be reading over and over again, except it wasn’t just any letter; it was a collection letter.

“Chasten, you need to tell me what’s going on.” Peter said, looking up at him as soon as he noticed he had entered the room.

Chasten’s heart sunk, meeting his stomach in the pit of his belly. He wasn’t ready. Things were finally going right, he was doing good in school, he had a job, reliable housing, proper food in his pantry, and most importantly, he had someone who loved him, truly loved him, but as he stared at Peter, speechless, he could see that love slowly slipping away.  _ Maybe he could win this, keep Peter just a little longer. _

“Why were you going through my mail?” He knew Peter wasn’t snooping, but if he was able to gain control of the conversation he could end it.

“I wasn’t. I wouldn’t, I...” Peter stuttered, and took a deep breath. “I just opened it, out of habit I guess. I’m sorry, really, but we need to talk about this.”

“No,” Chasten let out sternly. “I can’t.” 

He turned to walk away, but Peter stood up quickly, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. It was just another thing that Peter did to show how much he cared. He wanted Chasten to stop and look at him, but knowing how that was never a good idea with anyone, especially with knowing Chasten’s past, he always knew better than to grab. He was careful. But Chasten hated it in that moment. He wished Peter had grabbed him; it would’ve given him an excuse to end things before Peter had the chance to.

“Chasten, please,” he spoke softly and calmly.

“I can’t,” Chasten broke, he turned back, tears already streaming down his cheeks. “I can’t because as soon as I do, it’s over.”

“What’s over, love? Please talk to me.”

“ _ Us _ , Peter.  _ We _ are over, because I’m broken, I’m a mess, and you deserve someone better.”

“No—”

“You deserve someone who isn’t thousands of dollars in debt, who has a stable career and not a list of twenty jobs that they can’t keep, not someone who has enough heartbreak to cover both our lifetimes.” Chasten was ready to run. Leave Peter’s house and never come back, never have to see that look of pity on his face again. But he couldn’t; he had nowhere else to go. At least if they broke up Peter would let him stay in the guest room until he figured things out, no matter how awkward it was. Because of course he would.

Peter took a daring step towards Chasten, tentatively reaching out to cup his cheeks and wipe away the tears. “You’re right Chasten, maybe I do deserve all of those things, but I don’t want them. I just want you. And  _ you _ , my love, deserve so much too. You deserve a warm house with a warm bed and warm food, a steady income from a career that you love, and a man who loves you more than anything and is willing to support you no matter what.”

Chasten scoffs, trying to look anywhere but at Peter, but settles on him anyways when he starts to speak again.

“And you know what, Chasten? You already have two of those things, and the other one you are working your butt off to get. I know all of this is scary, and you’ve never felt like you could trust anyone with it so you’ve kept it to yourself, but I love you, and I want you to trust me because I want to help you. You need to  _ let _ me help you.”

Finally, as this reality that couldn’t possibly be his own for how optimistic it looked sunk in, Chasten nodded. He choked on a sob as Peter brought him into a tight hug. They both held on tightly, Chasten because he was afraid of letting go, and Peter because he knew this was the first step in getting Chasten back on his feet.

With his head still tucked into Peter’s neck, Chasten spoke, though a little muffled, “I want you to help me, I do,” he pulled back to look at Peter as he continued, “but I don’t even know where to begin myself. How can I expect you to know anything?”

“Well, lucky for you, you fell in love with a guy who gets off on spreadsheets, so we’ll start there.” Peter smiled when Chasten let out a small chuckle, then he kissed his forehead before letting go of Chasten. “I’m gonna order some take-out. In the meantime, go grab all of your collection notices and your laptop.”

Chasten nodded, then headed up stairs as Peter pulled out a Thai menu. When Chasten got up to their bedroom he sighed, slowly sinking down into the bed. He closed his eyes, just taking a moment to breathe and straighten out his thoughts. Peter loved him, and this didn’t change that, Peter had just assured him of that, the debt didn’t mean anything. Chasten was so relieved. Peter showed Chasten that he was deserving of love, and trusting Peter forced Chasten to tear down all of the walls he had built up against love. If he lost Peter, Chasten was sure he’d never fall in love again, or want to.

But Peter is okay with it. Better yet, he wants help, and that is the thought that triggers Chasten’s next fear. What if Peter helping ruins their relationship? What if Peter thinks he can handle it, but once he realizes how bad it actually is, he will no longer want to help? What if Peter starts to resent Chasten because of it?

As Chasten starts to panic again, his breaths become rapid and more tears form. Closing his eyes and burying his face in his hands it’s, once again, becoming too much.

Before he knows it, there are strong hands on his wrists, lightly tugging his hands away from his face. He opens his eyes and sees Peter, crouched in front of him looking worried. “Love, what is it? I thought we were gonna figure this out.”

Chasten ignores everything and abruptly asks the nagging questions in his head. “Why do you want to help me? Is this like some good deed that you can do to feel better about yourself, and then in ten years you can look back and think about that poor, broke, needy kid who you decided to make your charity case?”

Peter scrunched his eyebrows. “Chasten—”

“Or is it for the PR, so, in your next election you can tell the world about how your first boyfriend was broken, so you fixed him back up and put him on his feet? Because I love you Peter, I really do, and I don’t want to be some project that you grow tired of in a few months. I know I don’t have much, but I am giving you what I have, and I am begging for that to be enough, but please, just tell me now if it isn’t, because I don’t want to get any deeper in this if I’m not enough.”

Before he could say anymore, Peter lunged forward and connected his lips to Chasten’s, continuing the kiss until he felt Chasten’s breathing steady. “Are you done?”

Chasten swallowed, looking down at Peter, and slowly nodded.

“Good.” Peter moved to sit next to Chasten on the bed, keeping their hands tightly locked. “Because that kiss was enough.” He lifted their hands and kissed Chasten’s knuckles. “Holding your hands is enough. The fact that you are here, right in front of me, letting me stare into those gorgeous, blue eyes, is enough.”

“Yeah, but—”

“But nothing, Chasten. You are not some charity case, or a publicity stunt, and you are most definitely not broken. I am doing this because I love you, and a little bit because it’s an excuse to start a new spreadsheet, but mostly because I love you.”

Chasten managed to crack a smile. He released one hand to hold Peter’s cheek, and tilted his forehead against Peter’s. “I love you too.” He moved back, dropping a kiss to Peter’s lips as he went. “And I’m sorry that I kept getting insecure, I’m just so scared of losing you.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I am just as scared of losing you as you are of losing me, maybe even more.”

“That does make me feel better.”

“Good.” Peter placed one more kiss on Chasten’s cheek, then stood, grabbing Chasten’s laptop off of the dresser. “Now grab the bills, and let’s head downstairs. The food should be here any minute, and I really want to get started on this spreadsheet.”

Chasten dug the piled up mail out of the bottom of his dresser, and followed Peter. “Do you really enjoy spreadsheets that much?”

Peter dramatically looked up, as if reminiscing, and replied heavily, “I do. I really, really, do.”

Peter's response produced an audible chuckle from Chasten, which Peter was silently proud of himself for, and they both settled at the dining room table.

Over the next couple hours, they emptied numerous cartons of food, and organized most of Chasten’s finances. By the time they decided to call it a night and watch some TV on the couch, Chasten had a good idea of how to budget each month. He agreed to stop buying so much Starbucks and to start setting a little money aside from his paychecks to be able to pay at least a hundred dollars a month to his collection bills. He insisted that they had to budget for him to cover at least one grocery run and date night a month, with Peter saying that paying for the rest was “really no trouble at all,” and they could plan more low-cost dates.

As they packed everything up for the night, Peter turned to Chasten, once again taking his hands for reassurance. “I believe in you, and I know you can do this, but you need to promise me that if things get tight, you will ask for my help.”

“Thank you, Peter, really, and I will, but this isn’t going to ruin anything, right? Like, anything you give me, I’ll treat as a loan, and I’ll pay you back, so you don’t have to worry about that—”

“Hey, no,” Peter cut off, rubbing circles on the back of his hand. “If you want to, and it makes you feel better, you can pay me back, but I’m not worried. Who knows, maybe one day all of that money will belong in the same account anyways.”

Chasten smiled at the thought, but he didn’t let his mind linger on it too long, it was way too early to think about a major commitment like that. “Maybe, one day, but until then, you swear this won’t cause any resentment or anything, like, you’re really okay with this?”

“It won’t Chasten, I swear, because seeing the person you love walking a little lighter, knowing they’re cared for and are going to be okay, is a far better feeling than having money.”

“Thank you, Peter,” Chasten fell into another hug, letting Peter wrap him up. “Thank you so much.”

Peter gently detached himself from his boyfriend and stood, taking his hand. “Tomorrow we will make some phone calls, and finalize these numbers, but for the rest of the night, why don’t we pull out that ice cream in the freezer, and cuddle up on the couch to watch a movie.”

“I like that idea.”

Peter left Chasten to scroll through Netflix as he went to the kitchen to grab the carton of ice cream and two spoons to go with it, then he settled against Chasten’s chest. He could feel the weight lifting off of Chasten’s shoulders, and that put him at ease as well. All the while Chasten stared at the TV, trying to pay attention, although all his mind could focus on was the fact that he was so deeply in love, and for the first time, with someone who he knew felt the same way that he could see a future with. It would take a long time, Chasten was sure, but in that moment, he was determined that one day he would marry Peter.

**Author's Note:**

> On the count of three, close your eyes and pretend that I haven't disappeared for multiple months even though I may have some works finished...
> 
> 1...2...3...
> 
> Heeeyyyyy...!


End file.
